January 2009 - Discover Your Life Purpose
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“I just don’t know what my purpose is. I’m reminded everyday, how unsatisfying my life is. I feel like a hamster in a cage and that I’ll never live the life I truly love,” said a friend over lunch recently. She continued: “I don’t know what I want; I don’t seem to feel passionate about anything and I feel like I’m waiting for my life to begin.”
I hear this so often with my clients as well. The problem is, we commonly, externalize "purpose" as though it is outside of ourselves, somewhere beyond our grasp, and that once we find this elusive magical purpose, our lives would begin.
We reason that as soon as we figure it out, we could land the ultimate career, start our own business, have the ultimate relationships, feel passionate about life, and heal the world and so much more.
Here’s what’s wrong with this reasoning, in all of our trying to figure it out, we miss one important truth about purpose.
Your purpose, or your reason for being here, is not found in what you do for a job or a career, it is not found in a degree that you’ve earned, writing a number one best selling book, or how much money you have.
Your purpose in life is TO BE. Simply put, to be as authentically you as you can. Ask yourself this, how have you made yourself or your life wrong? How do you self-judge yourself or your life? It is your self judgment that causes your suffering and the experience that you are not living your life on purpose or that you are not on your path. Have you put your true self, your interest and your passions on hold to gain approval, or to fit into someone else’s, or society’s concepts of what is successful, or acceptable? If you answered yes, you may find yourself asking where your passion is, or not even knowing what you want, because you’ve invalidated your very essence of which you are. Your purpose is to live life as joyfully and authentically as you can, to celebrate your uniqueness, to be as true to yourself as you can. You are a gift and you are here to express your authentic self.
What do you love? What brings you joy that may or may not have anything to do with making a living or getting paid for it? How have you made a difference to someone? How do you show kindness to others? Everything you do is important, meaningful, and on purpose. Everyone you meet is important, meaningful, and on purpose. Every circumstance is important, meaningful, and on purpose.
Your purpose is in the being here now and simply LIVING. Our society rewards performance. Even growing up, your parents may have rewarded you with a cookie, or getting to go outside and play “if you clean your room”, or “mow the lawn”. While that does teach us responsibility, when were you just rewarded for being you? When were you given recognition just for “being”? This is not to keep you stuck in your story of what was right or wrong about growing up, or your conditioning, but to make you stop and think how even now, you may be making being happy or fulfilled conditional, or beyond your grasp, because it is performance based, or not here now. How often do you tell yourself, “I will be happy someday”, or “when I accomplish or do this or that” or “when I find my purpose some day”.
Your purpose is to simply live, laugh, to connect deeply with others, to grow, and to use your gifts to touch the lives of your friends and family, to express yourself, and to maximize your experience on this planet.
Unfortunately, instead of LIVING our purpose, we often waste our lives WONDERING what our purpose is, looking for it everywhere but where it is, and that is in our “being-ness”. It often sounds too easy or too simple, because you’ve been conditioned that you need to strive for something that you aren’t already. We give away our energy, doing things that drain us, so that there's nothing left in us, to do the things we truly love.
How do you squander your relationships, letting them slip away without honestly speaking your mind, without caring for them like the precious gifts they are? How do you squander your time, wrapped up in tedium and routine, without making any time for doing the things you truly love to do?
We waist our lives away, wondering what to do with our lives.
The good news - you don't have to "figure out" what to do with your life. You only have to live it. When you are doing what you love, no matter how small or large it is, whether it’s painting, dancing, taking a walk, having lunch with friends, you are inspired, and when you are inspired, you are truly living your life purpose. When you come from that place of true inspiration and joy, new ideas and creativity will come to you. You will feel in alignment with who you are, on purpose and truly alive. This is the key to finding your purpose. The fact is there is nothing to find, just to be. It is right in front of your nose. Your life purpose is right here and right now and you are magnificent! Set a goal right now to begin living your life as authentically and uniquely as you truly are; that is your gift to yourself and the world; that is what you truly came here to do.
If you feel you are self-sabotaging yourself with negative old emotions or limiting beliefs, consider a personal hypnosis session in office or by phone to release those old patterns.
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